All The Good Names Were Taken

Well, last night, I was on the air. I did an interview for WGN Radio, and to my credit, I wasn't terrible.

Sigh. That's my new benchmark: I wasn't terrible.

The producer said I was good the next day. Maybe. All I know is that I wasn't terrible.

The first time I was ever on radio, I was terrible. And the second time, and the third and so on. Somehow, several years ago when I worked at a newspaper, I was asked to come in every week to a radio station to talk about what was going on in the city. The radio producer liked my column and thought my humor might translate well to her medium. Yeah. I hear she was demoted to working the night shift soon after that decision.

I did get better, but my big mistake when I first went on the air was starting off with a long, terrified pause. The DJs stared at me, as if they could see the future, and it involved them getting fired for having brought me into the studio. But then I started talking, and stammering, and then words and sentences came out, and awful as I was, they kept me coming in for about a year, amused, I think, at my amateur radio style. Or maybe they just liked that I was a ham and was pretty much up for anything. My hightlight, or lowlight, was when I went on location with the DJs, and they had a professional wrestler with them. I was talked into letting the wrestler try a few holds on me. I figured because it was radio, he'd go easy on me. Instead, he ended up flipping me into the air, so that listeners could hear a grown man scream like a little girl.

Then they heard the thud and agonizing moan, which I'm told made great radio. I wouldn't know, having lost conciousness about then.

Last year, I was asked to do a radio interview for another station, in relation to a parenting magazine column I write, and there must have been some growth in my radio skills, because I did the interview and actually--as opposed to my year-long stint--didn't hear any criticism from my friends and family.

And then last night, I spoke about travel getaways in the Midwest, in relation to a story that I have coming up soon at Entrepreneur.com. And, as noted, it went pretty well.

So now that I've given you my radio history, I thought I'd offer a few tips on being interviewed on the radio. Here goes...

1. Don't think of it as an interview. Think of it as a conversation. Granted, that's a little hard, because if you're in the studio, that microphone is right there, as are the DJs, but, still, just talk to them like you talk to your friends--friends who have superior voices compared to yours.

2. If you're doing the interview on the telephone, feel free to have some notes right there on the computer. Nobody's going to know, unless you accidentally lose your place when you're scrolling down with the mouse. (But I recovered.)

3. If you're representing something bigger than yourself--a business, your boss, whatever--be sure to try and mention that something at the start and end of the interview. I practically trampled over the DJ's words at the end when I said, "And be sure to check out our article on Entrepreneur.com." I'm sure he appreciated that like he appreciates tooth decay, but it's important to know who signs your checks.